Dear Aunty Jane, I had an unwanted pregnancy and I terminated it but my boyfriend who wanted us to keep it has some nude pictures of mine from when we used to ‘sext’ each other. He is manipulating me with threats that he is going to share them online. I am in a dilemma; what should I do?
Aunty Jane Answers
In order for a relationship to be healthy, partners must trust that when they set boundaries and are intimate with each other, both people will uphold those boundaries and neither will attempt to hurt the other. Making threats like this is a violation of that trust.
Threats are not a sign of love or care, but of manipulation and control. You never deserve to be threatened, no matter what, and you are never responsible for your partner’s choice to be abusive. Unfortunately that doesn’t make dealing with threats like this any easier. So what can you do if your partner is blackmailing you and trying to get you to do something you don’t want to do?
Stand by your principles and set your boundaries. Your best option might be to stand your ground and not give in to the threats. This will not be an easy thing to do, but giving in to the threats usually doesn’t make them stop. In fact, it can intensify your partner’s sense of control and the threats might even become more extreme in the future. It’s possible your partner won’t follow through on their threats
There are also laws against such acts and at least you have that going in your favour. Posting someone’s nude pictures is against the laws and the same punishment applies for those who share these photos/videos. You can actually sue him for these types of actions.